Could you use FREE PRAYER? Do you usually charge? No. But I got your attention.

When the Hope for the City Outreach started I had no clue what I was doing.  I would asked them as I was trained, did you receive your free bag of groceries?  Then I would nervously ask, would you like your Free prayer?  I would get the strangest looks,but most of the time, they would say yes and  need it.  The more we did it, the more comfortable I became with it.  In fact, the more it helped me become the warrior I am today with prayer.  I remember in the beginning I prayed quick and my voice cracked.  The more I prayed the better I got.  The more I prayed, the more I wanted to pray at home.  The more I prayed the more I wanted to dive into the word of God.  I realized if I were going to spend my life reaching out to people who felt as broken as I felt, I needed to know more than I did. As I mentioned in the past, I struggle daily with wondering why God would pick me to be used to lead people when I am so far from what I see as a leader.  But what I did know is I had a fire inside for God.  I knew that his word was true.  I felt the Holy Spirit lead me to people and tell me things that only he knew.  I struggled and still do struggle with why broken me,but when I do I have to go alone into my prayer time and literally power up and tell Satan to stand down and put my shield up.  Shield up is when I my open Bible and  I dive into the word and I pray, and when I pray I shut every negative person out, every hurtful comment out,every rude and gash to my heart must be shut down.  That is why some days I am unable to blog.  Because some days I am weak.  Life breaks me down.  Tonight I have spent in prayer.  Reading his word.  Processing his promises.  Processing my broken heart.  Remember that my 15 year old saying, "Mom, you said this is what God put you here for and this is what your promise to God is.  You can't stop now.  No matter what heartache you feel now"

Out of the mouths of babes.  Last night, being the leader of the Hope for the City Out Reach.  I told them life had beat me up the last 2 weeks.  I can't possibly keep my commitment of the grocery outreach.  Which is not like me.  I always keep my promises to our people.  It is my life and my love.  It is the joy that brings so many hope and we literally see God's work being done.  My Pastor and our people said, NO.  You have to push through.  This is not like you.  You see, I will not hide nothing from you be it easy or not embarrassing or not.  I was having a pity party for one.  The week before my husband who is on disability for now (speaking it into existence that changes soon!!) his amount of money changed.  I had got hit with one thing after another.  Monday, I lost my job, first time in my life and I am scared   I felt my entire world crash around me because of things in my control and some out of my control.  I was (am at time still) hurt and angry.  I am human.  I  make mistakes.  A child of God is at fault just as much as one that is not a daughter of the one true king.  My mind was and is all over the place with fear.  But I prayed.  I stayed strong on my God's word.  He is my everlasting truth.  He is my almighty.  He is and always will my forever King.  My friend.  My father.  My redeemer.  I will stand on his word when everything thing else around me has crumbled to the ground or I am standing on sinking sand because he is the great I AM. Basically I had to cancel my pity party for 1 had to be cancelled even if I wanted to stop my feet, be angry and have it anyway.

In the cold of the night, we loaded the vehicles with bags of donated groceries.  Tierre, Rachel, Peggy, Lynn and my children, CJ and Benjamin.  We headed to the only section 8 apartment complex apartments in this county.  Before you rush to judgments you may or may not understand, I would like you to understand these people are poor but it doesn't mean they don't work.  Many are on disability or they work but make minimum wage and have children.  By the time we show up on 24th of the month, there is way more month than there is food!  Believe me on a cold night those groceries are a much needed site.   We stand in the cold and hold hands.  "God our Father, we give you all the honor, Praise and Glory. Please God, guide up to the apartments that only YOU know where we are needed the most".  You see, that is my favorite part.  There are 100's of apartments there but He leads us just where we are needed.  It is amazing.  We have people fall into our arms.  How did we know? DO you need prayer?  Yes!!  We join hands and our Warriors go to work and that is where the real work begins!  "Father God, let her know you love her, let her know she is not alone.  Let her know of your love and let her know we love her too.  We ask of your hand of protection to surround her and her children. Whatever their need is Father, We ask it be MET TODAY!!!  NOT NEXT MONTH, NOT NEXT WEEK BUT TODAY!!".   I hear many prayers being said on these nights.  I hand out more hugs than I can't count.  The teams are amazing.  The people we meet are amazing.  They take down our numbers.  They need help with Doctor's, Christmas, whatever, we help them find it.  We don't know the answers but we pray and trust God to help us find it.

There is so much more to this cold night than a bag a groceries. I asked you all start an outreach in your own community and look for the people behind those apartment doors that feel lost, forgotten and alone.   Let them know that you are there but more importantly lead them to the best friend they could ever have,  Our God.